Monday, June 2, 2014

Plus Sized Confidence by Kelli Neche'

More often then not, we as women find ourselves concentrating on our appearance.
We're taught without a second thought that being skinny or dawning an hourglass figure or having a slim waist is what looks "good" and what we should strive for to gain attention of the opposite sex.
It's more important to us how good we look in a cropped top and high waist jeans vs how comfortable we are seeing as we have to peel our jeans off and wear the mark of the fabric's beast down our legs in the form of the imprints from our jeans.
As children, we make fun of the "fat" kid because they'd rather eat twinkie and be happy than pick over a skimpy salad and be hungry. 
Yes, it's okay to be healthy but a lot of times healthy isn't always skinny.

Before I had my son seven months ago, I weighed about 135. I was proud of being able to eat whatever I wanted and it go straight to my behind. Sounds crazy but, it's true. I could wear almost anything and look fabulous and with me being a fashion blogger that was one of my favorite parts. I could promote anyone's clothing in a size 8 and I was content with that.

Now, I'm at 195 and in a size 14.
To America, I'm considered "plus size".
So, with me being the researcher I am, I looked up what that term meant.
Plus Size by Oxford Dictionaries definition is "of a size larger than normal range."
Okay, well, what is normal range Oxford?
I did some more research.
According to some ranges of sizes, size 14 is supposed to be the most common size in America.
Oh yeah?
Then why are women who advertise the clothing in a size 10?
So am I.
Doing all of this searching and clicking and researching and digging, I've come to the conclusion that America's average size is clearly based on Caucasian women in their mid-20's, not today's African-American women.
I'll be the first to admit, gaining the weight that I did definitely took a toll on my self confidence. I've never had so much as a pudgy tummy prior to having Jace. I love my son dearly and he was worth every pound, however, it's still an accomplishment to be comfortable in your own skin.
I took a vow to myself and said that I was not going to throw a pity party when I looked in the mirror.
I wasn't going to kick myself when i sat down and my stomach was in my lap.
Let's also be clear, I like snacks, but I also have a problem with choosing my snacks poorly.
I could make healthier choices and I definitely choose to but before I can make any changes, I had to take a step back and love me some me.
The world considers me, "plus sized", cool.

If that means I'm larger than normal. 
I never fit into any one's box anyway.
There's nothing wrong with loving the skin you're in.
You're going to be in it for the rest of your life.
Confidence doesn't come in a dress size.
Let's use Kim of NationallyFashionable as an example.
Following her on instagram has been such an inspiration.
She shows that fashion isn't built on a 20 inch waist line.
CoriCoren, sells amazing plus sized clothing for those bold enough to love who they are and aren't afraid to let the world know it.
I've said all that to say this, be proud of who you are and if you don't like something, change it but never change it quietly.
You never know who is waiting to hear what you have to say to warm their own soul of give them the strength to be confident in who they are.
All of your mom's out there that just had children or who are about to have children, you'll be back to YOUR normal in no time. I say, "YOUR NORMAL" because normal to me may not be normal to you or to Sally or to Jane.
Set your own standards and realize that you just carried a life for 9 months, don't expect to snap right back! We may not have the trainer that Beyonce' or Gwen Stefani but that doesn't make you any less beautiful or any less amazing. Take your bounce back journey with one foot in front of the other. Nothing but dreams happen overnight.
I'll leave you guys with this,
Webster's definition of Confidence:
a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.
Embrace your flaws and succeed.

As Always,
Be Classy.