Monday, October 15, 2012

I am Not My Hair by Tai Re'Nai

 Yesterday a little girl by the age of 12 came into my job. I just fell in love with her from the moment she started speaking. She knew what products she wanted for her hair and also what products worked great with her hair. She told me that she has been natural for all of her life never got a perm or wanted one. That she loved her kinks and everything about her hair. The confidence that this 12 year old exude was breath taking. Being able to see a child embrace who she is naturally and love it made my day. She is the reason I chose to write this segment .

"Its time for us to redefine who we be" -India Arie

 If a child can embrace her curls, kinks and coils why cant we all? I meet so many women who do not have confidence in their natural hair. So they keep it weaved up, straighten it every day or hide behind wigs, braids and more.

 One day i had this customer and she told me that she didn't want to big chop because that was the ugly stage. NOW, I know that the big chop isn't for everyone but do not down the people who are brave enough to cut off all of their permed ends. My friend tweeted the other day and I'm not going to even lie I got a little salty after reading it. She said "i don't understand why all these females keep cutting off their hair walking around looking ugly. Just because your going natural does not mean you need to cut all of your hair off at once." I think that comments like this make some people more hesitant to cut off their hair or wear their natural hair out. The point that I'm getting to is that if your natural or transtitoning then EMBRACE your hair for all that it is! Do not let the comments that other people make discourage you from big chopping or wearing your natural hair out. And I promise you when you do not pay any of this 'shade' thrown to naturals any attention this will become one of the most liberating experiences you could ever have. Im not finished…. 


You do not have to have type 3 hair to have "GOOD HAIR." And this is where we run into a lot of problems. If she has type 3 hair hers is better because she has long flowing curls. She has type 4 hair her hair is nappy. I even heard comments like "she has slave hair." This hair typing is getting out of control! Now the only reason we have hair types and charts is for the healthiness of our hair. The point of the chart is to help you find products that work for your hair texture. But some how some of us got lost on the real reason for hair types. And this blew up into the argument of 'good hair vs bad hair.' Now my opinion of "good hair" is hair that is healthy and growing. No hair type is better then the next and the sooner people understand this we can get over this petty argument. All hair is beautiful in my eyes. I didn't go natural because their was a chance that I could have loose bouncy curls. I went natural because I wanted to embrace every aspect of me and who I truly am. And that is exactly what I have done. I love how kinky my hair is, the shrinkage I get when I wash my hair, my coarse texture and everything about these hairs growing out of my head. Sometimes I wish other people could have this confidence in their hair. I know it will take some a little bit more time to embrace their hair for what it is more then others. But if we started encouraging each other a little more and stopped paying attention to the rude remarks we could see confidence on so many faces. The moral of this rant is all hair is good hair. No matter if your type 2, 3 or 4 your hair is beautiful! EMBRACE your hair and be confident in your hair and yourself. Do not let other peoples ignorant remarks get to you. Remember these words from the beautiful India Arie "I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations no."


Having confidence in yourself is one of the most important parts to living your life. When you find out who you are as a person then you find your confidence. You find out who you are as an individual when you start realizing your flaws and faults. I say this because when you realize those two things thats when you can really accept who you are for all of you! Because, no one in this life is perfect. We all make mistakes, mess up and have flaws. But when you realize them and come to grips with them, you take them for what it is and EMBRACE all of who you are. You are who YOU are and that is BEAUTIFUL! Everyone is beautiful. But remember beauty starts from within. ACCEPTANCE in oneself is the key. If you accept who you are then no one else's opinion matters anymore. I did not always have confidence in who I am but, I learned. I looked back on everything that i have been through and was going through at that time and realized then that all of my TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS were for a reason. They were to help me FIND myself and EMBRACE where I have been. If you do not know where you've been how do you know where your going? It was times in my life where I went through the depths of hell but I still managed to come out on top. And that is when I FOUND myself. I was able to accept what I had gone through and I found confidence! I may not be the skinniest of girls or have the lightest skin complexion. My hair is natural and not permed. I may not be the prettiest in some eyes. BUT I AM ME AND I AM FLAWED AND I EMBRACE!!!

I hope this post helped someone in someway who is struggling with self confidence. And as always remember to keep it natural and classy beautiful people!

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